Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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