I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
