oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
