Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
