after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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