I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Are we still banned from the library?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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