Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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