So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
