I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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