Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
