He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
