I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you win again, gameday.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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