Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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