I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
