She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So squirting runs in the family.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
