we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
