weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it's like iHOP with fire
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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