id be glad to
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
