well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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