I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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