Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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