i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
