you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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