I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
