ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
