did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i need some magic done to my vagina
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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