glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
