those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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