Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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