Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Little spoons don't ask big questions
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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