I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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