dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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