you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
