The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
