VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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