I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
