Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
