even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
did i walk over a car last night?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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