i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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