I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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