shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
