I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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