So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
