I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I died a long time ago.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize