fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
