I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
