that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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