This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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