I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
