i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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