well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
