Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
