I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
