she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
