It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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