"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize