Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
