He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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