so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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