That's intense
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
