I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize