i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
