Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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