Midget sex pt 2 tonight
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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