what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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