What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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