can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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