My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
this is an emotional support booty call
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
