Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
