Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
