"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
