Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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