Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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