Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
