what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
