And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
