I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
