I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
