There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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