so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
