Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm always down for nudity.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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