Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
