i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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