she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
