sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
