So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize