Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
