Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
im on a boat
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