PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize