Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
